


Leave Him For Me

by Civilliany



Series: Second Chances [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-14 00:48:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2171589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Civilliany/pseuds/Civilliany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What aren’t you willing to risk, when your heart is on the line? </p><p>A companion piece to “You Deserve a Chance”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave Him For Me

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot is inspired by Sam Smith’s song “Leave Your Lover”

* * *

 

Pain was one thing that Oliver understood better than most others. The many scars that littered his body, his mind, and his soul were proof. Many of these scars were visible and vicious in nature. But the most painful ones, that were the most devastating, were the ones that could not be seen. They were the ones that had been inflicted upon his soul. Some of them were caused by others, but some, the most damaging ones, were self-inflicted. Those were the ones that darkened his soul. Those were the ones that he had tried to atone for. But as hard as he tried, as hard as he fought, he could not rid himself of them.

 

But nothing, nothing could compare to the pain he now felt.

 

For days now that pain scourged every part of him, his body, his mind, his soul, and his heart. No matter the amount of alcohol he drank, it could relieve him of the pain that he felt. Every movement was excruciating. Every breath he took was laboured. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was her.  

 

It had been three days since she told him the news. Three days since he lost all centre of gravity. Three days since he lost his home. Three days since he lost his light. Three days since he had realized the consequences of his actions.

                       

He thought he had done the right thing, the only thing that could keep her safe, to keep her alive. That was all he ever wanted. He wanted her happy, safe, and living a life that he didn’t think he could give her. So he buried his feelings, he buried his love for her and watched her in the arms of another man that put a smile on her face and made her laugh more times than he could count. Another man who kissed her lips like he wished he could. That could share every moment, every night with her that he so desperately desired.  And for a long time he thought he could continue on like that, living his life alone and watching her from afar because there would never be any one else for him. She was it for him. She was the only one for him, and if he couldn’t have her he’d rather live a life alone.

 

But there was that voice, that voice that he buried so deep within himself that kept saying that she was still by his side. That she still believed in him. That he wasn’t alone because she was still there. But that voice had been silenced three days prior. She was leaving. She was leaving with him. She was leaving him for Ray Palmer.

 

When he made the decision to push her away he couldn’t really fathom the consequences, the outcome, that he now faced. He wanted her to move on, no matter how much it hurt him. But this pain, the pain of feeling that last bit of his soul vanquished, that felt like his heart had been ripped from him, was nothing that he could have expected.

 

It was that pain, that agonizing pain that drove him here to her front door in the middle of the night. It was that pain that drove him to pound on her door, begging her to open the door and let him in.

 

He couldn’t imagine what she was thinking when she opened the door and saw him. But he didn’t care. He had nothing else to lose. He had lost everything already and he wasn’t about to lose her. Not like this. Not without a fight. He would lay all he had left at her feet and hope that she would choose him.

 

“Please, Felicity. Please just let me in. Please,” Oliver pleaded, his voice cracking when he spoke the last word, tears threatening to spill from eyes.

 

She stepped aside and let him in. And for that he was grateful. He had passed the first step.

 

“What are you doing here, Oliver? It’s the middle of the night,” said Felicity, still groggy from being awoken in the middle of the night.

 

“I need to talk to you.”

 

“You need to talk to me? In the middle of the night, Oliver?! OMG, is there something wrong? Is it Lyla and the baby? Is it Dig? Please tell me it’s not Roy,” Felicity nearly shouted, the sleep completely gone from her system as her mind raced to find a reason as to why he was here in the middle of the night.

 

“No. Yes. There is something wrong, but it’s not Lyla or the baby, or Dig. Not even Roy actually,” Oliver stuttered, as he tried to find the words to articulate what he wanted to say to her.

 

“What is it, Oliver? What’s wrong?”

 

“I…I…I thought I could do it. I really did. I thought I could live with the pain. It’s not that I haven’t dealt with pain before. But I didn’t think that it would hurt this much. It feels like I can’t breathe, like I can’t see clearly. Everything just hurts and I don’t know how to stop it,” Oliver shouted, frustration and anxiety clear in his voice.

 

“Oliver, are you hurt? What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong and we’ll fix it okay,” said a concerned Felicity, grabbing his arms and running her hands and eyes over him looking for wounds.  She had never heard Oliver openly voice his pain before.

 

“I don’t see any wounds, Oliver. Were you poisoned? Drugged? Oliver, you need to tell me what happened,” whispered Felicity anxiously.

 

“Don’t leave me,” Oliver said quietly.

 

“What,” Felicity said incredulously.

 

“Leave him for me. Leave him for me, Felicity. Please. I promise I won’t run. I promise that I won’t push you away like I did last time. Please! Just please don’t leave me!”

 

The look of shock bloomed across Felicity’s face.

 

“I can’t do this. I thought I could. I thought I could live watching you with another man. I thought that you would be safer with someone else. But I didn’t think that it would hurt this much. I’ve felt pain before. Bone-breaking, bloodcurdling pain before, but nothing compares to what I’ve felt the last three days since you told me. Nothing!”

 

Felicity was in complete shock. She was completely silent for the first time since he had met her. For the first time he couldn’t tell what she was thinking just by looking into her eyes, eyes that showed her every emotion, every feeling.

 

Oliver didn’t know what to do. So he kissed her. He poured everything that he had buried, all the he had hidden away from her, into that single kiss.

 

“No. NO,” shouted Felicity as she attempted to push Oliver away. But not before he gently wrapped his hands around her wrist. “You cannot do this to me, Oliver! I’m not a toy! I’m a human being with feelings and emotions and freaking brain! You cannot do this to me, Oliver. I will not let you drag me around like a rag doll!”

 

Tears began to spill from Felicity’s blue eyes.

 

“You’re not a toy, Felicity. You’re the woman I love. The only woman I have ever truly loved. And the only woman that I will ever love,” shouted Oliver, pulling her gently towards him. “Do you understand, Felicity? I LOVE YOU! Only you! Please just, just hear me out!”

 

“You love me? You love me for how long, Oliver,” Felicity spit out, “until the next big bad shows up and tries to blow me up or use me against you? Until an enemy of Oliver Queen shows up and you push me away? No! NO! I cannot go down this road again with you, Oliver. I won’t!”

 

Every word felt like a stab in his already broken heart.

 

“Ray loves me. He’s never pushed me away. He’s never made my decisions for me. He’s never acted like a jealous ass because someone pays me the littlest attention. He trusts me enough to let me make my own decisions. He loves me enough to live with the dangers lurk around us,” cried Felicity, more tears spilling down her face.

 

“I LOVE YOU! I cannot live without you,” howled Oliver. “You make me better every day because you are in it. You make me a better man, a better hero, because I have you guiding me. You are the only one that has ever been able to harness the light, the good that is left in me. I’m tired of being selfless, Felicity. I want you! I love you! So please don’t leave!”

 

Oliver didn’t know what else to say, what else to do, to make her say. He had laid everything he had on the line. He had nothing else left.

 

“Answer me one thing, Felicity. Answer this one thing and I won’t ever disturb you again. I love you. Ray loves you. But who do you love? Do you love Ray? Or do you love me? If you love Ray, I’ll leave. I’ll never bother you again. I’ll let you live a life with him without me ever encroaching on it. I’ll wish you all the best now for when you get married to him, and when you have your first child, and your second, and your third. But…but if you love me, I’ll promise that I won’t run. I’ll promise not to push you away. I’ll promise to hold you when it all gets too much. I’ll promise to best husband I can be. I’ll promise I’ll be the best father I can be to our children. I’ll promise to always come home to you. Just answer me that one question, Felicity. Please.”

 

The tears are now spilling down Oliver’s face as well.

 

The silence is near deafening as Oliver waits for her answer.

 

What feels like hours that trickle by are just minutes.

 

He stares into her eyes, eyes that he has come to trust, to care for, and to love. Eyes that he witnessed pain in, pain that he had caused when he pushed her away that fateful night. Her eyes, eyes that he has dreamed about for months every time he closes his eyes to go to sleep.

 

Oliver didn’t know how much time had passed since he asked her who she loved. He didn’t care. He just needed an answer. Any answer. Because he needed her to put him out of his misery, so he could go wallow in more misery and alcohol.

 

He didn’t see it coming. He didn’t know how to react at first. She grabbed his face and pressed her lips to his. The moment that Oliver came to his senses, he kissed her back, with everything he had.

 

Oliver didn’t know how long the two of them had been locked in their physical embrace and he didn’t care. He could kiss her like this for the rest of his life if she allowed him.

 

“I love you. I love you, Oliver. I’ve always loved you. Even when I didn’t want to,” Felicity whispered breathlessly, as their foreheads touched.

 

Oliver pulled her closer into his embrace, vowing to himself to never love this woman in his arms any less than he felt right now, to never push her away ever again. She was a gift, a gift that he would treasure for the rest of his life.

 

“So, marriage and babies,” she laughed through new tears that had begun to form, “you want all those things with me?”

 

“Yes. Yes. Yes, I want all those things with you. Only with you,” Oliver promised.

 

“Good. I’m going to need those things after I go and break up with Ray. Tomorrow,” spoke Felicity.

 

“Tomorrow,” asked Oliver, somewhat incredulously.

 

“Yes tomorrow, Oliver. I get to choose how I break up with Ray,” said Felicity. “And you get to wait until I do. I had to wait months for you to admit your true feelings for me. You can wait 24 hours.”

 

“I can do 24 hours,” replied Oliver.

 

“Good. Now you can get out and let me go back to sleep. I have a big day tomorrow.”

 

“I love you, Felicity,” Oliver said, as he kissed her forehead.

 

“I love you, too. But you need to get out, Oliver,” answered Felicity, as she pushed her towards her door.

 

A smile, a true smile, blossomed across Oliver’s face as he stood outside Felicity’s door as she waved goodbye.

 

For once, in a very long time, Oliver didn’t feel any pain.   

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always welcomed!


End file.
